hitting bingo

reflections on a whirlwind of a 2025, two years of substacking and things i'm grateful for

I started this Substack on December 31, 2023, with the hope and a wish that it would make me a more confident writer and thinker. Back then, it felt daunting to even consider self-publishing my work and words on a new digital platform.

Reading over my first post now, I can’t help but smile at the dramatics and also applaud the courage it took to click publish way back when.

So much of that post was centered around creating goals and accomplishing them, something I feel I’ve done hungrily for most of my 20s, accompanied by a healthy dose of fear.

But this year was different. I felt remarkably unafraid and sure that I could accomplish everything I put down on paper. And, even if I didn’t succeed, I felt okay with the prospect of trying and trying again until my hopes came into being.

I wanted it to be fun, not laborious, useful, but not stressful.

The goals I rolled out this year were pretty different from my usual ones. Instead of hyperfixating on a vision board or crashing out over a long checklist, I created a bingo card to gameify my accomplishments and sparks of joy. Twenty-five spaces (with one free space) packed with small adventures for me to chase through the 12 months of the year.

I bought gold stars to mark my progress.

The bingo card included a lot of things that I vaguely knew I could achieve, like perfecting a new recipe, re-learning the piano, making a floral arrangement, reading 25 books, and watching a sunrise.

Those boxes were then squeezed between some loftier aspirations, such as taking trips to France and Iceland, becoming a barre instructor, publishing a story in a national publication, doing the splits (unsurprisingly not accomplished), and crocheting a sweater (uncharted territory).

Over the months, unlike the resolutions I usually set, seeing these goals in their boxes provided me with helpful and unforgettable nudges to act. They reminded me of the girl I was on New Year’s Eve 2024, sitting upon my friend’s couch, plotting my best possible year and yearning for a deeper connection with my passions and my community.

They also made me more aware than I’ve been in a long time about what truly has the power to make me happy.

Somewhat surprisingly, it often wasn’t traveling to a new place or getting a story on the front page of the newspaper.

Instead, it was squeezing onto a huge couch with my best friends (sometimes in another country), screaming at the TV while watching “The Summer I Turned Pretty” or helping a family I’ve interviewed seek accountability for an ongoing struggle they’ve faced.

Mostly, it was the things that challenged my brain to think in a new way. The ones that invited more creativity, openness to learning, or potential uncertainty that turned into comfort and community.

I did hit bingo this year. Twice. In the shape of a T.

But when I did it, I didn’t really feel much different. My world did not shift.

Frequently, I hear friends talk about the New Year and resolutions like a burdensome, constraining weight to carry through January and then inevitably give up. But I just don’t think it should be that deep.

Set some goals that you know are in reach, pat yourself on the back when you meet them, and then keep moving and dreaming and imagining next steps.

We must be hopeful in these cynical times! Especially about the possibility of a happy and fulfilled life packed with small joys and big ones, adventure and comfort.

I’ve found 2025 fairly hard to synthesize or reflect upon in words, and this all feels quite cheesy. But my 2026 bingo card demands that I write at least one of these posts per week, and when I do, I have to appreciate and believe in whatever I’ve got to say.

Onto the next year we go, and before I really settle in, here are some gratitudes for the year past.

100 things I’m grateful for (2025 edition)

1. beyoncé (and seeing her twice in one year)

2. my mother and father who I adore (should’ve been first)

3. my 17-year-old pup that I lost this year (my angel legend! miss her daily!)

4. friends that live in places I have never been, but aspire to visit

   

   pup, ‘rents, beyoncé, iceland

5. tiramisu (sometimes, homemade, new development)

6. pants that look professional but feel like sweatpants

7. a milkshake, potentially mint but likely strawberry

8. gluten tolerance (i might not have this)

9. bigxthaplug

10. the color orange

11. the friends you make at work that become friends in real life

12. seeing doechii front row at lolla

13. matcha lattes with lavender and honey

14. when bowen yang said (you can really insert anything here)

15. bennydrama7 and mbb

    

    thee benito skinner of ride the pod and “overcompensating” fame

16. guttural laughter

17. leopard print

18. panera rapid pickup

19. percy jackson and the olympians (tv show and book)

20. being a highly competitive uno player but never knowing the rules

21. charmaine wilkerson

22. the people who removed the world war ii bomb from the train tracks in paris so that my mom and i (along with other passengers) could go to london

23. amy sherald and her art

24. birthdays and being born but also being alive

    

    25th birthday cake and existence

25. the strawberry whipped cream cake from tate’s bake shop in southampton

26. petit palais and museums, generally

27. jenga

28. spike lee courtside knicks game fits

29. pool floaties

30. consistent practice leading to growth

31. intergenerational friendships

32. my friend Jana for making dinner for me and 15 friends on my birthday

    

    jana din, tsitp watch party, national gallery of modern and contemporary art

33. the sound of my friend’s baby scream laughing

34. sky lagoon (the most sublime icelandic lagoon)

35. most spa environments

36. not breaking my back on a high-speed, bumpy lancha across lake atitlan during xocomil

37. my succulent that survived another year but i do not remember watering

38. reneé rapp revealing her lip liner combo after I said that I was grateful for it last year

39. tiktok fancam editors

40. cooper’s beach

41. a strong, brightly colored blazer (or 16 of them)

42. people finally appreciating zara larsson, welcome to the club

43. the feeling of lying in your bed for the first time after many days of travel

44. recovering from the illnesses that came for my neck this year

45. being welcomed into rooms with incredibly smart and talented people

    

    bits from paris and londy

46. lemon water

47. Jensen McRae and her beautiful voice and album, which carried me through the summer and fall

48. kali uchis erewhon smoothie

49. afternoon tea at sketch london (and the jams and honey they sent home with me)

50. dancing

51. being a box office princess and securing floor seats for Kendrick Lamar and SZA

52. going to the symphony

53. journalism and journalists

    

    u.s. open, js legends, creating art, jenga

54. renwick gallery

55. photobooths and trying to fit four friends on one stool

56. a well-crafted vodka pasta

57. broken in cowboy boots

58. meeting my heroes and inspirations

59. the bean bag in my work office (and the ping pong table too)

60. participating in four fellowship programs at the same time

    

    fellowship cuties!

61. oh, mary

62. staying out til 5 a.m. with the girls (and sometimes markus)

63. bubby’s

64. surviving having my desk moved to a new section at work

65. the devil wears prada

66. watching the summer i turned pretty on the couch with all my besties

67. matching sets and blue light glasses

68. the roof over my head

69. the u.s. open, ben shelton and the girls (and also the honeydeuce, beverage of the year)

70. caleb mclaughlin’s laugh

71. tiny habits

72. the costumes in barbarella

73. movies on the airplane (kind of how all films should be watched)

74. floral arrangements

75. walking past a group of girls sharing incredible tea

76. denim flats

77. a healthy sleep schedule

    

    iceland, guatemala and nycccc

78. how it feels to learn a new song on the piano

79. belting “don’t rain on my parade” at karaoke with fellow funny girl and glee lovers

80. barbra streisand’s memoir (in audiobook form, because mama is really performing)

81. the feeling after you’ve just left hot yoga and step outside on a breezy summer day

82. saunas overlooking a body of water

83. film cameras and the thrill of not remembering what you took a photo of

84. my 950-day duolingo streak

85. chelsea jackson roberts’ sleep meditations (heard round the world by friends sharing a bed with me)

86. mighty patches

87. cafe benelux frites cone with sriracha mayo

88. big black bubble skirt

89. brandy and monica tour

90. lumax and percabeth

91. vest collection and good books

92. jane fonda

93. attending concerts with my parents

94. outfits that you constantly repeat but it doesn’t matter because they bring you joy

95. my shakespeare & company tote, which holds all

96. exfoliating gloves

97. donna summer and diana ross on every playlist

98. the moon (in all her phases)

99. cherry blossoms

100. all the people who have seen my potential and invested in my growth (including a subscription to this substack). it’s an honor and a privilege that I do not take for granted!

Tamia Talkers, we will chat again soon. December Rewind incoming. Endless gratitude to you for reading! Sending you sparkly, hopeful, joy-filled energy for the new year.

Vibe of the Year